underneath the façade of nonchalance
chronic dissatisfaction festers
releasing the gray duality
of antiseptic and sick
embarrassed, she perfumes herself in
floral notes and deflects quickly:
well-tended, picket fence teeth
her heart pounds, fearing trespassers,
hunting hounds leashed and frantic
yowling to pursue her decay
— tear it into the open!
hide the welcome
mat
talk glibly
I bottle up scents
The first night after
The first fight and tears
First “I love you”s and “I hate you”s
The first fissures and poorly-made welds
I pickle parts
Of that living, breathing thing between us
Always on life-support
Knowing
Time runs out
Sometimes I’d like to put a Do Not Disturb sign
On my face when smiling is too much
When I don’t wish to pretend to care
Or have enough energy to wave your competitive talking
Away as insecurity or envy
Most of all, I want to keep my joy close
A candle sheltered from the wind with my own chest
An exclusive warmth to luxuriate in
RED GLADIOLA 