I, who have known you,
now only meet a stranger
who pulls layers over the child
trying her feet in shoes overlarge.
A bitter essence has been mixed in,
stirred and absorbed into her flesh.
Her eyes and touch hold
a sliver of ice, a dagger
poorly concealed — for me.
the lack of your hurt
is another strange ache
that transmutes past pain
into a fantastical pleasure
my heart rends itself in two;
one trying to convince the other
that loving in absence
is loving a mirage
you curl nails into me,
carving a red, quivering gape;
for your own peace of mind
you stole mine
Dear Josephine,
Today we walked in the woods together, the ax hefted on my shoulder and the gun on yours. It was bright early and the snowfall was fresh, crunching under our boots. Our breaths came out thick and white, mingled together and disappeared up into the sky.
Marie
our breaths
wreathing together
in the winter air
reminds me of
our separation
stars above
a still, gray sea
who combs her faded hair
and old lovers
from her thoughts
fly away from here dear one
to the sky that I can only glimpse
while my legs become roots
and my frown petrifies
next spring, build your nest
in my branches
give me your sweet promise
your honey-tongued lies
for your barren eyes pierce
my soul and this meeting of bodies
needs a veiling
for my conscience
to look away
My ears no longer hear
but I watch your lips shape the words
and your tongue curl deftly
My eyes no longer see
but I feel your fingers shape mine
to share our secret speak
My hands are numb with cold
but your heart beats fiercely
against my bent back
You are heat itself
Your breath exhales the words
against the delicate lobe of my ear
Although they no longer hear
I know them again and again
I won you at a street fair
five years ago
a lifetime ago
before illnesses, deaths, and weddings
everyday, I stopped by your tank
fed you your flakes
every week, I changed your water
and you would be happy to see me
today, you passed away
I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more
than a 5 gallon home
which always felt a little too cramped
you were important;
when I felt all alone
I sat by you and spoke:
“We’re both just trying our best to live.”
thank you for being in my life
if you start a new one
I’m sure it’ll be as wonderful as you were
RED GLADIOLA 