[Non-fiction] Reasons why I am no longer friends with my childhood best friend

Because calling someone a terrible friend, threatening to end your friendship, listing the years-long grudges you held against them but remained silent on for “their” sake, and then saying you don’t believe in them, is somehow supposed to motivate them into being a better, happier person – especially after they sacrificed sleep, traveled through snow, and showed up at your door with a gift. No, they can’t possibly have more pressing problems in life that makes them subdued. They must really want to make you feel uncomfortable. It’s always about you, after all.

Because spinning worse-case scenarios to your friend, without any solution, is really helpful.

Because your apology doesn’t come without exceptions like, “I never said that” and “You must be reading it wrong” and “I totally had tough-love intentions.” Too bad you’ll remember their words every time something horrible happens…but it’s totally not their fault. That’s why they ask you to give ‘em a fake smile, so they won’t be wracked with guilt.

Because an apology comes with no follow-up for years. Even Mother Teresa’s good will would wear thin.

Because they complain to you about the loved ones who make an effort for them, but of course, they’re not succeeding enough, being attentive or caring enough, to meet their needs.

Because you sent them a hand-written card when their pet died and shared your memories about meeting them, but when your mother falls ill, they send you one line of text.

Because they chewed you out for not writing “Love” in a greeting card, even though they never sent you a card. (They stopped writing birthday cards years ago, because they didn’t spend enough time with you to put anything meaningful in them.)

Because they get jealous of you when you lose weight on your own, even though they have a workout partner, a personal trainer, and pre-sorted meals shipped to their home. No, they make themselves feel better by walking the streets and seeing who’s bigger than them.

Because they get frustrated when you haven’t changed, even though they’ve changed for the worse.

Because after you walked away, they only remember how you were a good friend to them, and you remember this.


Author: redgladiola

Creative writer happily predisposed to flights of fancy. You can find my poetry and short prose at https://redgladiola.wordpress.com

7 thoughts on “[Non-fiction] Reasons why I am no longer friends with my childhood best friend”

  1. Reading this I feel like my database is out of date. But no, it isn’ t I guess. It’ s hard to know what to do in the situation you describe. It’s hard falling-out too, but still having feelings.

    1. Indeed. Especially when the friend wants to reconnect but doesn’t own their problematic behavior to protect their own ego. Things would eventually fall apart again.

      1. You sound a bit schoolmistress-ish. Is there a particular level of ego this person has to suffuse in order to meet your requirements? Is it a sort of honour to be in your company? What kind of thing was this person doing with their ego, if I may ask?

      2. You sound a bit cynical, so I’m not going to explain. This was a true relationship and I hung onto it years after it had broken. This was for me and no one else.

      3. No, I wasn’t being cynical. I just wanted to know how the ego got in the way. It’s interesting. I just wonder how you were assessing how this person still had the same ego-based problem.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: