Because calling someone a terrible friend, threatening to end your friendship, listing the years-long grudges you held against them but remained silent on for “their” sake, and then saying you don’t believe in them, is somehow supposed to motivate them into being a better, happier person – especially after they sacrificed sleep, traveled through snow, and showed up at your door with a gift. No, they can’t possibly have more pressing problems in life that makes them subdued. They must really want to make you feel uncomfortable. It’s always about you, after all.
Because spinning worse-case scenarios to your friend, without any solution, is really helpful.
Because your apology doesn’t come without exceptions like, “I never said that” and “You must be reading it wrong” and “I totally had tough-love intentions.” Too bad you’ll remember their words every time something horrible happens…but it’s totally not their fault. That’s why they ask you to give ‘em a fake smile, so they won’t be wracked with guilt.
Because an apology comes with no follow-up for years. Even Mother Teresa’s good will would wear thin.
Because they complain to you about the loved ones who make an effort for them, but of course, they’re not succeeding enough, being attentive or caring enough, to meet their needs.
Because you sent them a hand-written card when their pet died and shared your memories about meeting them, but when your mother falls ill, they send you one line of text.
Because they chewed you out for not writing “Love” in a greeting card, even though they never sent you a card. (They stopped writing birthday cards years ago, because they didn’t spend enough time with you to put anything meaningful in them.)
Because they get jealous of you when you lose weight on your own, even though they have a workout partner, a personal trainer, and pre-sorted meals shipped to their home. No, they make themselves feel better by walking the streets and seeing who’s bigger than them.
Because they get frustrated when you haven’t changed, even though they’ve changed for the worse.
Because after you walked away, they only remember how you were a good friend to them, and you remember this.