Dear God

If I go MIA, you know why.
EDIT: Thank you for all your comments of support. I’ve decided to try not to panic until there is a firm diagnosis. In the meanwhile, I’m going to live life normally while spending more time with my mother.
EDIT2: Diagnosis confirmed positive.

I want to go back five years ago.
When I was still in the middle of a decade.
When my paternal grandparents were still living independently at home.
When my maternal grandma was helping raise another batch of grandkids, instead of sleeping beneath the ground.
When my mother could walk across bridges and her eyes were bright knowing her kids were growing up and she could hold up a full teapot with one hand.
But I live right now, where a doctor says she might have Parkinson’s.
And I don’t want to believe it, but things start making sense.

God, I’m not ready to go it alone.
Please don’t do this. Don’t make it true.
She’s lived her whole life for her family and her husband.
She deserves to live the rest of it happy and healthy.

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Author: redgladiola

Creative writer happily predisposed to flights of fancy. You can find my poetry and short prose at https://redgladiola.wordpress.com

38 thoughts on “Dear God”

  1. Oh gosh, this is heartbreaking and scary–please know that I will be praying fervently for your family. Hold on, I know that God is still in the miracle business today.

  2. Sending love and prayers. My mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s 10 years ago. it isn’t easy but if your mom is like mine, she is a fighter and will keep moving forward. Many strides and therapies have been made in the last 10 years. I hope and pray the doctors will find what will be best and safest for her.

    1. Hi, I don’t know if you’d be open to talking about this. But my mother went to a specialist today to do brain scans and he prescribed medicine for Parkinson’s for her even though they won’t discuss the scans until her next appointment. Is this normal?

      1. Pretty much. If you would rather, you can ask them to wait for the results. Many times, they want the med protocol to start going into effect. They can compare the results of how the meds are doing compared to the scan. With more info they can decide to add, change, decrease meds or use another form of treatment. So it is pretty normal. they want te scan as a baseline and to determine how the meds are doing.

      2. no problem. thspencer51@hotmail.com I’m not sure where you are located. There may be a good support group as well you can hook right in to. Parkinson’s has really come to the forefront wth Michael J. Fox coming forth – new protocols. when my mom was diagnosed, it was basically meds that she took to hold down the tremors. she’s had to take physical therapy to help with her swallowing, lately, and walking. but she is 84 and considering all things, she is doing great. A lot of it is her attitude. I recently went down to FL where she was living to tak her to TN to live with her baby sister. Baby sister is pleased with her progress and attitude. She has actually done better with encouragement from my aunt and physical therapy. She gets ticked at using a “sippy cup” but is getting used to is.

  3. When I read this three days back, I did not know what to say because words cannot describe how much I felt sorry, I have seen my grandfather suffer from Parkinson’s – It won’t be an exaggeration if I say that the disease is cruel, it very much is – but, I felt that it created a special bond between him and me, that’s the only special memory I carry with myself. ‘she could hold up a full teapot with one hand’ – this line says it all…I can vividly see what you’ve expressed.
    I don’t know what else to say, Red. Please stay strong and you can always contact me if you need to talk to someone. Much love and warm hugs, dear friend. ❤

  4. Oh sweetie. I’m so sorry about your mom. Hold every moment with her dear. Take care, and much love to you and your family!

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