If I could discern
the gears of fate and time
perhaps I could see
a happier future
than the crystal ball of thought,
cloudy and smoke-filled,
frightens me with.
But sad knowing, perhaps
will cement
a sadder reality.
How strange that ignorance breeds
fear of knowledge
and uncertainty
fear of stability.
RED GLADIOLA 
Perhaps you would see pain
That renders pale
The depression that you know now.
Life is cruelty,
Continual death to the past,
Often through the blazing forge fires of pain.
Life is life,
And cares little for our comfort.
Joy and leave are around us,
But they are facets of life
So difficult to perceive.
That ties into fear of knowing about an even worse future. *nods*
Very thought provoking. I always longed for stability but when it came I missed the improvisation that uncertainty offers.
Instead of depression, I would call that more of wanting what you don’t or can’t have. Green’s always greener on the other side right?
Being so familiar with depression, it’s hard to know whether to “like” this–it is so well written, though; and the timing is eerie, as it’s been one of those days–so wanted to be rescued from my thoughts.
There’s definitely nothing to like about depression, but it’s good to express it in a way where I won’t get condemned for it. I’ve had people tell me my problem’s weren’t “real” and that I’d never be happy — really horrible stuff when I was doing my best to help them in a bad place.
No one can rescue us. Avoid people who make your depression worse and try to focus on one thing in the now that makes you happy (i.e. even something as small as a good meal, or something interesting you are reading). I find thinking while in depression makes it more potent.
*hugs*
I’m well aware no one can rescue us–doesn’t stop me from wishing it some days. I went to bed early, which is the only fix for the rare days when nothing else in my bag of tricks works. Today is better. Hugs and prayers of blessing back to you.